10 -

Two feet tall, forty feet wide

- 9 -

Salesman's opening line: "You're not a cop, are you?"

- 8 -

It looks suspiciously like a broom handle with a lot of coat hangers

- 7 -

While you sleep, it gets liquored up and takes the family caravan for a joy ride.

- 6 -

Each branch has "Duraflame" printed on it.

- 5 -

Keeps heckling your lame top ten list

- 4 -

It's very small and says "air freshener" on it.

- 3 -

Rabbis have better Christmas trees than yours.

- 2 -

Some guy named Mujibur puts a crappy Statue of Liberty on top of it

- 1 -

Constantly bragging about its "trunk size"

(Source: Top Ten Lists from LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN)