18> Electricity keeps going out when elk land on the power lines.

17> Killer Bees no longer seem all that bad compared to quickly
    spreading infestation of Killer Whales.

16> Miniature tornadoes caused by dogs chasing their tails in
    midair.

15> Wile E. Coyote finally has poultry for dinner.

14> The next big California earthquake is caused by Shamu nodding
    off at 5000 feet.

13> Two words: carrier poodles

12> The migrating wildebeests are disrupting your satellite
    reception of ESPN again.

11> Sarah Palin suddenly enjoys aerial wolf hunting.

10> Shrinking icecaps would no longer drown polar bears, so my
    teenage daughter Greenella von Treehugger might let me turn
    the home thermostat above 58 degrees in February.

9> The annual pilgrimage turns into a desperate evacuation
    when the lions return to Capistrano.

8> Porsche sales down 95%; Pegasus sales up 995%.

7> Utter dejection in coach when it becomes apparent that the
    elephants in first class ate all the damned honey roasted
    peanuts.

6> Kite-flying competition called on account of cats.

5> New York vendors would do a booming business in ratswatters.

4> Even Captain Sullenberger can't land the plane after hitting
    a flock of llamas.

3> No way Punxsutawney Phil puts up with that same crap year
    after year.

2> Courtney Love no longer dismissed derisively when she calls
    911 to report flying hippos.


                    and the Number 1
             Difference If Other Animals Could Fly...


1> Buffalo wings no longer baffle Jessica Simpson.